Magic, and gun toting hot chicks in skimpy outfits? No thanks, I’ve gone out on that limb and gave that genre a shot before, and swore to myself: never again. But the early reviews claiming the fast paced, revolutionary combat and style had convinced me to give it a shot.

I didn’t even make it through the opening credits without asking myself what I had gotten into. The Japanese pop music and the emo-Laura-Croft, break dancing with guns on her feet, was enough to make me crank down the surround sound and nervously glance around the room for anyone who may be nearby.

Once I had gotten through the ridiculously cheesy dialogue and opening credits, I found that the game picks up the pace and throws you into some heavy combat. From there out, my experience with the game did a 180.

Combat is fast… I mean, REAL fast. It requires one to sync and execute quickly paced melee combos and gunfire, while throwing magics into the mix when possible. The game features an awesome counter-attack system where perfectly timing your dodges from enemy blows activates WitchTime, an ability that slows down the speed of the combat to a crawl for the player to unleash devastating combos and finishers that would not normally be possible in real time.

After the first few chapters and the ‘getting started’ tutorials, the game starts to show its true colors in its difficulty. To get right down to it, the game is very tricky if not downright skull-fucking-ly hard. It’s a game that seems to throw as many boss battles at the player as it does regular combat set-pieces. There were several times where I was pitted against an incredibly tough boss, who after some time I would eventually vanquish, then turn the corner and BAM! Guess what? You get to fight that same boss again, but to make it interesting the game will force you to fight two of them simultaneously. After which, I would then sit back to enjoy what I would assume would be a few puzzle sections or minion combats to build up suspense again. Nope… the beginning of the next chapter would start me off with another boss fight against a two-headed dragon with a cherub’s face for a belly.

The control scheme is well done. Although for some reason when you start the game off, the camera sensitivity is set to the slowest setting possible. You’ll need this cranked up close to high as possible within comfort, as you will frequently need to spin camera angles to assess all the archangels closing in on you. You also have a vast multitude of combos available right off the bat, many requiring the perfection of timing to execute correctly.

One quirk that often got on my nerves, at times, was the less than intuitive moments that left me saying: “Well how in the hell was I suppose to know that?”. I’m talking about the boss fights that were chuck full of one-hit kills, or the climatic scenes after big battles where the game expectantly demands that I press square or spin the left analog stick in the 1.2 second time frame it gives me, or I’m crushed by a falling building or washed over by a wave of lava. By no means do I want my games to hold my hand through that kind of shit-storm , but the game auto-saves after every time you die, thus reflecting poorly on your overall score.

Tim’s Final Say

I had a real hard time getting over the ridiculous music and voice acting.  Then it clicked with me, how someone with similar tastes to myself enjoys a game like this. It needs to be looked at as a comedy. It is so outrageously cheesy that you can’t help but laugh at it.

Would I recommend, to a friend, to go out and buy this game? Ehh… no, not really. Not at $65. Would I recommend that they borrow it from me and play it? Absolutely. I would tell them to skip the cut scenes, and enjoy the game for what it is: a challenging and fast paced hack n’ slash with some nice visuals and occasional animated eye candy. Ignore the voice acting, plot, and Japanese pop music, and you’ll find that Bayonetta is a very fluid and well put together action game.