Just when you thought it was over…BAM! More books. Currently standing at a healthy twenty books, the series will continue to expand. R.A. Salvatore has just signed a six-book deal with Wizards to write even more Drizzt adventures which will cap it off at a twenty six book series, if indeed that will be the series’s final tally.

I am still trudging through the earlier volumes myself and have yet to reach the more recent publications and have to say that the early stuff is amazing and I would recommend it to any reader looking for a swell time. However, as I have been told, and have somewhat experienced, the series begins to run a bit dry through the middle and towards the current end. Which leaves me wondering, how long can this lone dark elf’s story go and will it be an interesting read?

I am anxious to see what Salvatore has in store for Drizzt in these next six books, but I am also worried that the immensity of the character’s run will dampen what makes him great and make him into an overdone facsimile of what he used to be, a caricature, if you will. Alas, I suppose we shall have to wait and see. The first book in the next six-volume sequence is set to release in 2011, to much anticipation.

Hey

…

You guys remember that one time when I was all like, ‘Man, Games Workshop really pisses me off with their Space Mehren preference. What ever happened to honest competition?’

…

Looks like you’ll be holding your breath for even longer if you’re like me. Coming this April, the next new update flying at you in a…THUNDERHAWK!…is an update for…THE BLOOD ANGELS! Yeah I just said that. Keep in mind, this is following an update for the Space Wolves and an entirely new very minor Space Mehren faction, the Legion of the Damned. No Imperial Guard update…no Ork update…no new Chaos units…just another update and more units for a Space Mehren faction, not even one of the cool ones too. Its the Blood Angels…if there was a slightly homosexual chapter of Space Mehrens…it would be them.

Take this as you will. But I will be adding Games Workshop to my already growing list of things I have sworn a blood oath against.

Thus the party’s journey began to the Dragon’s Crown and the village of Mistmarsh. After a four day train ride, the party finally exits the lightning train in the Breland military blockade known as Sterngate. The military stronghold Sterngate sits on the borders of Breland and Darguun, and for more than six hundred years has protected the nation’s border from marauding goblinoids and other threats from the Seawall mountains. The party makes only a quick stop in Sterngate, and only long enough to gather last minute supplies, horses and a wagon before venturing on foot. The paladin, Cord, stays behind in Sterngate to attempt to gather further info. Perhaps speak to the local captains and lieutenants inquiring of any recent Emerald Claw activity in the area or anyone that matched the description of Garrow, the man who bought the Cannith research findings from Rorsh Oblo.

After an uneventful five day trek by horseback, the party arrives in the former mining town of Mistmarsh. It is here where the party begins to investigate around the town asking for Lady Elaydren d’Cannith’s uncle, Geldom d’Cannith. Few in the town can recall seeing a man matching our adventurers’ description. The barkeep at the Drunken Miner Alehouse however, accurately recalls the older gent asking around town for a guide to take him to the Dragon’s Crown. Corzen is unable to find any information on Emerald Claw activity around the town, thankful that by the looks of it, this poor village hasn’t been plagued by the likes. He does find some information regarding a abandoned military fortress not too far from town known as Brightstone Keep. After the Last War, the military abandoned the mountainside fortress and returned to Sterngate. Some of the soldiers stationed there, deciding to retire in the quiet little mining town of Mistmarsh.

Feeling they’ve gathered all the info needed, our heroes make their way north, for the Dragon’s Crown in search of Geldom d’Cannith and any traces of the Emerald Claw. Later that day during their travel the group is jump by a brigand of gnoll marauders. Surprising the brigade of gnolls seem well prepared and trained. The fight is beginning to look direly interesting when off in the distance a lone figure galloping across the hills towards the party. Cord the paladin of Dol ‘Arrah swoops in on horseback to join the party in the fight, helping to quickly dispatch the gnoll gang.

Cord informs the party that he has reinforcements traveling behind him, and tells them that he rode ahead. The party decides to break for spell and search the gnolls corpses. Strangely, the party finds several precious uncut gems on the gnoll bodies, along with a map of the road they are travelling upon. On the map are X’s drawn at certain points of the road, which the group discerns may be ambush points, seeing as there is an X drawn approximately where they are standing. Also on the map, a fortress is marked out to the west of the road, this one marked with a red X and a circle around it. In checking out the rest of the loot the gnoll gang was carrying, on the adventurers spot something very peculiar. One of the gnolls was wearing a House Cannith signet ring. Questions are beginning to rise when the cleric spots tracks in the ground where it appears something was dragged from the road. Following the deep ruts in the ground, and not far from the roadside, a horse drawn wagon sits in ruins. It’s remains have been burned along with what appears to be one of it’s passengers. The burned wagon remains and it’s victim appear to have been stripped of anything of value. The party speculates that this may have been another victim to the gnoll ambushers, or worse, the victim may have been Geldom d’Cannith and his guide.

Cord’s backup arrives on horseback. The stout and swaggering human announces himself as Krajen Berrleti, ex-soldier of the Breland military. He met up with Cord back in Sterngate and accepted his offer at a chance to earn some extra gold and crack some skulls. Grateful for any help they can get the group makes there acquaintances. The party is then able to discern that the fortress marked out on the map must be Brightstone Keep. Speculating that perhaps the gnolls may have taken up a new residence in the abandoned keep and that they may have taken Geldom d’Cannith there, the group decides to investigate it. A few hours later the party can see the stone former military compound in the distance. The keep was built in a well selected place. The mountain backdrop behind the fortress and the river running along the south of it would have kept it well protected from invasion. Wary of what they may find ahead, our adventurers tie off the horses and wagon, choosing to advance in stealth. Helkhad’s protective bubble of darkness surrounds the party, keeping them hidden from the night.

Really…? Did they really need another unit that looks like it can rape anything, both physically and metaphorically, without any chance of defeat?

Games Workshop Employee: Hey guys!

40k Players: Yeah?

GWE: We got a new update comin’ out next month for a 40k faction. Can ya guess who it is?

Necron Players: Necrons? We haven’t gotten one since the last time a C’tan was roaming about.

Ork Players: Orks maybe?

Chaos Players: Chaos perhaps? They’ve been really getting fucked with the new editions, they could use a buff.

GWE: NOPE! XD! SPACE WOLVES! Ain’t it just great? A faction within an already super powerful army needed an update far more than just an entire army with rules from 1984, don’tchyathink?

40k Players: Die in a fire Games Workshop.

GWE: But wait, dere’s more! We’re releasing a new unit just before Christmas!

40k Players: I knew I could count on you Games Workshop, I just knew you wouldn’t let us down and side with Space Marines.

GWE: It’s the Legion of the Damned! They have skull helmets and murals of ancient battles inscribed on their armor!

*Shows picture*

Chaos Player: Finally a cool unit for Chaos that doesn’t look like its from 1995!

GWE: It’s for the Space Mehrens, noob. Play a real faction, hahahahahlolwut!

Gathered around the table is Corzen d’Deneith-the sorcerer/warlock of House Deneith and the Defender’s Guild, Cord Fenwood- the humble and noble paladin of Dol Arrah, Helkhad Devilbrood- the once human hellbred binder shrouded in mystery and his warforged servant and telepath, Thought. Whilst discussing their business in Sharn, a small courier boy approaches the table they are gathered around. The lad delivers an envelope to the group, and waits expectantly. Cord and Thought both hand the boy a single gold piece, who eyes grow as wide as saucers before running from the tavern proclaiming his riches. Cord opens the letter, which is addressed to no one specifically. Four platinum coins fall onto the table along with a letter that reads;

These coins have many friends that wish to meet you. Come to the Brass Ale Inn at the northeast part of town at dusk. Bring your wits and those you trust. Also bring your sense of urgency and knack for discretion.

The party, intrigued by this person that seems to know them and the prospect of earning some extra money, follow the letter’s instructions and travel to an inconspicuous middle-class section of Sharn close to nightfall. At the Inn, a small halfling bartender leads them to a table in a back corner where an elegantly dressed and beautiful noblewoman sits beside an older gentleman who is dressed in scholar robes. Thought and Helkhad immediately notice the House Cannith signet ring on the noblewoman’s left ring finger. She bids the party to sit, and introduces herself as Elaydren d’Cannith. She motions to the man sitting next to her and introduces him as her uncle Geldom d’Cannith.

She thanks everyone for coming and gets straight to business. The noblewoman tells the party that they are researchers for House Cannith, working out of Morgrave University here in Sharn. They’ve recently returned from a research expedition to a place known as ‘the Dragon’s Crown’. They’ve hit rough times recently in getting the funds needed for the expedition. In their desperate need for funding, they struck up a deal with an entrepreneur named Rorsh Oblo. Corzen instantly remembers hearing this name in the taverns and in the Sharn papers. The man is a notorious gangster and thug, running a mafia-esque ring in the black markets and scandals. The House Cannith researchers tells the group they knew well that Rorsh Oblo was a bad crowd to get mixed in with, but their desperation for funding in their research won out in the end. A few weeks after their expedition, Rorsh Oblo came to them expecting a higher return on investment than they had originally agreed to. Being unable to pay the ridiculous amount he was asking for, Rorsh Oblo confiscated their findings and research. Lady Elaydren goes on to tell the group that after a few days they’ve managed to obtain the funds Rorsh was asking for, but they’ve been unable to track him down since.

The warforged is not buying the entire story these researchers are telling them. “It sounds to me that since this Rorsh Oblo funded the expedition he is entitled to it’s findings? What is so important about what you found at the Dragon’s Crown?” Thought inquires to them.

“That is where things turn for the worse I’m afraid.” Lady E tells them. She goes on and explains to the group that she and her uncle Geldom were researching the dark forces behind the Dragon’s Crown, and the cultist activities that go on there. They believe that contained within their research, they may have the clues necessary to decipher ancient texts written there as well as  unravel the mysteries behind the reason why so many dark forces and cults are drawn to the place. The two fear that information such as this in the hands of a man like Rorsh Oblo can lead to very dangerous things. “This is where you come in,” she continues to tell them. “Lemark d’Cannith has told me of your recent exploits. I need you to find Rorsh Oblo, and return to us what he has stolen. Of course no deed is done without well placed compensation.”

After some rough negotiations, Lady E agrees to compensate each of them with eight hundred gold pieces each if they are able to find Rorsh Oblo and return their findings. The group devises a plan and decides that where else would you go to find hidden information about shady characters other than, the Sharn Underground Market.

Returning to a familiar acquaintance they’ve encountered before, the party decides to search out their contact Skokan the goblin. Although a nasty, greedy little peddler, the goblin has come through for the group before when they required information (though at a steep price!). The party treks through the lower levels of Sharn and into the sewers below. Eventually, one tunnel opens up onto a large chamber, where a mix of goblins, humans, shifters and a slew of other races walk from merchant stand to stand wheeling and dealing their cheap junk and goods. Rough and dirty people crowd the narrow corridors, and the smell of sweat and sewage permeates the stale air.

Standing beside a pile of garbage spread across three rotting blankets, the party sees Skokan up to his usual antics, as he tries to hustle his mildew junk onto passer-by’s and slum people. Upon seeing the familiar faces of the party, Skokan immediately pushes aside the grungy orc he is bargaining with and rushes to them. His beady little eyes are practically lit up with dollar-signs.

“Friends! Friends! So good to see you again at Skokan’s Bazaar! Tell me, what is it that interests you to come down into my neck of the sewers this fine evening? Perhaps I can interest you in some boiled rat’s meat? Only five silver. Or-or-or perhaps you could use this fine woolen blanket with only a hint of mildew. For you? Only thirty-nine copper. Or perhaps it is more knowledge you seek? But Skokan wonders what it’s worth to fine explorers such as yourselves?”

Corzen quickly grows furious with Skokan’s antics, but Thought promptly thrusts a fistful of gold into Skokan’s hand to shut him up. The party asks where they can find Rorsh Oblo’s hangout. Skokan, who reveals to the party that he has ill will towards Rorsh and his goons, tells them that Rorsh has a hideout here at the market, and points them in the direction they can find them. Skokan urges the party not to tell anyone that he told them, as Rorsh’s goons and muscle has no problem with kicking over his stand and chasing away his customers.

The group approaches the supposed hideout and decides the best course of action is to bust in guns-a-blazing. Helkhad punctually spits forth a line of burning hot magma from his mouth, blowing the door clear off it’s hinges and into the shanty shack. The group quickly pours in and surveys the inhabitants of the room. The thugs they find inside (terrified by the party and their extravagant entrance) promptly tell them that Rorsh Oblo isn’t there, that he was arrested by the Sharn Watch two nights ago while at the Dark Griphin Taproom, and is most likely now rotting away in Ironclaw Prison. The party’s further interrogation leads them to deduce that whatever research that Rorsh had taken from the Cannith’s, he must have had on him when he was arrested.The party decides to regroup and contemplate their next move back above ground, but not before Helkhad tells Rorsh’s old gang that they will follow Skokan the goblin from now on. Helkhad goes on and tells them, “You will all follow Skokan’s orders from here out. Otherwise you’ll receive another visit and have to answer to me…” Dumbfounded and scared the thugs nod their agreement, and the party leaves.

Helkhad devises a plan to do the unthinkable. He says he plans to get himself arrested by the Watch, sent into Ironclaw prison, find Rorsh Oblo and what he did with the Dragon’s Crown research, and still break out of the maximum security prison. Going against the others’ warnings Helkhad strolls into the Eastern precinct of the Sharn Watch to turn himself in for evading arrest on several accounts. Sergent Dolom sends Helkhad away to Ironclaw, to be kept in a holding cell until they are able to identify him.

Meanwhile, Corzen, Thought and Cord have met up with some of their previous allies. The half-minotaur cleric of the Sovereign Host, Cimak, and the evasive swashbuckler pirate Redbeard. The reinforced group has decided to head over to the Dark Griphin Taproom, where Rorsh’s men said Rorsh was at last before he got picked up by the city Watch. The newly formed group searches the area for any kind of clue or someplace where Rorsh might have stashed whatever he had on him before being arrested, but turn up empty handed. One of the tavern regulars tells them that he saw Rorsh Oblo at the taproom the night he was arrested, and that it looked like he was making an exchange with another shady-looking character, but doesn’t know much more than that. The party soon comes to realize that they are not warmly welcomed in this taproom. Corzen, the House Deneith mage, show that he has no patience for the tavern’s patron or their ill-manners, and promptly shatters all the bottles and windows in the bar with a quick burst of his invocation. A classic bar fight brawl erupts, and our PC’s of course come out nearly unscathed.

Once in Ironclaw Prison, Helkhad is surprisingly able to bypass most of the security by summoning the power of his vestiges to use for stealth and scout. His vestige powers go by unnoticed to the arcane magick & psionics detection systems and spells. He manages to find Rorsh Oblo, and gets him to talk using various ‘persuading’ techniques. Rorsh tells the scarred, demonic looking inmate that he sold the research to some man that had interest in the Dragon’s Crown. He said that he offered quite a bit of coin for anything and everything he had on the place. Rorsh says he only got a first name, Garrow, but remembers a tattoo he bore on his neck. Helkhad recognizes the symbol Rorsh Oblo begins to describe to him. It is the symbol of the Emerald Claw.

Helkhad retires from Rorsh’s cell, leaving Rorsh behind with two broken legs, several missing teeth and covered in blood screaming for the guards. Helkhad further beseeches the powers of his vestiges to manage in evading capture, and escapes through the teleportation circle, back into the city.

After a quick regrouping and a rundown of what everyone has discovered, the party has decided to seek out the Emerald Claw to find the man that made a trade with Rorsh. Cord decides to return to Morgrave University and give Lady E an update to the situation. Upon finding her, Cord sees that she is grief stricken and terrified. The scholars had gotten word that the group had been arrested and her Uncle Geldom rushed off to The Dragon’s Crown to try and retrieve the research himself. Lady E pleads to Cord to find her uncle before he is killed or worse.

The group rationalizes that the best course of action from here would be to take the lightning rail, which Corzen manages to pull in a House favor to harbor them free passage, to the military blockade and border town Sterngate, and from there travel to the Dragon’s Crown. There is a town along the path from Sterngate to the Dragon’s Crown, known as Mistmarsh. Lady E advises that Mistmarsh would be an excellent place to regroup and inquire about recent activities and familiar faces.

With that the party gathers supplies to leave on board the lightning rail, for the military blockade of Sterngate.

Before I start the review, I would like to send out a special thanks to Cam Banks for yet another gem of a book.

So, you have the core book for Supernatural and are looking for a adventure to run. First, Jamie Chambers who wrote the core book hid an Easter egg adventure in the pictures at the beginning of each chapter. Really cool, you have to piece together the clippings for the adventure. Go try it.

Okay, down to brass tacks. The hardest thing to do is run a game that gives players a feel that they can roam around as they want. You, as the GM, must try to avoid that linear feeling. Guess what? The writers of these adventures did a excellent job of creating the perfect feel. While reading The Red Ghost, I was impressed that the players could wander around the site and investigate different areas in any order. I don’t want to reveal too many secrets, so let’s leave it at that; it is a ghost story.

I would like to point out that the Cortex system makes things incredibly easy to run each adventure. All of the tasks set forth have the difficulty already set in each scene. This lets the game flow easily from scene to scene.

You have five great adventures to choose from: The Red Ghost, Transmutation, Hell Hound on my Trail, His Lesser Half, and Synchronicity. All can be dropped-in at a moments notice. Any one can easily teach you how to create your own campaigns by following it like a blueprint.

All in all an excellent book well worth the price of admission.

Enjoy!

Being a huge fan of the show, I have waited a long time for the role playing game core book to be released. Was it worth the wait? Indeed. Let’s have a look.

First let me say even if you are not a fan of the show there is a lot to offer for a horror type setting. Set in the modern day world lends itself to all those wonderful haunted places everyone has in their backyard. (Every county in the country seems to have the ‘Crybaby Bridge’ story.)

The heart of the system is Jamie Chambers Cortex system. Its simple, elegant and easy to learn. Because its highly adaptle to every situation that players can come up with, running it is a dream. Here are the basics.
Attributes are what you use as a base and add appriate modifers to. The six attributes are: Agility, strength, vitality, alertness, and intelligence. Some may complain that there is no charasima attribute to use for charming/intimaditing. Its not needed. Just use will plus the skill that fits the situation best.

So what are skills? They are special skills that enhance your characters attributes. For instance, you need to convince the bouncer to let you in the nightclub without a fight. You would combine will (attribute) and influence to beat a target number set by the GM. Now under the main skill you can also have specialties to enhance your skill even more. Such as, under influence you may have persuasion which shows that your character is a real charmer with people skills. You can be okay with a gun, good with a gun, or really good with a particular type of gun. For instance, you would use agility as the base then add the skill ranged weapons and finally if you a specific gun named under that it would replace the ranged weapon skill. The secondary skills are always going to be a little better than the general one. The Cortex system uses a step system. By that I mean a d2 step up to the die roll. Most rolls are between a d2 through a d12. (There are some cases where the number is higher but that’s rare.) Having a rank of d2 in something is really weak, a d6 average, and more than that and you are quite good at what you do. Because the system is so flexible, certain situations can easily increase or decrease the difficulties. Action difficulties range from easy to impossible. These target numbers can be alerted by situational modifiers, For instance, lets say you are trying to jump from roof top to roof top. I tell you that would be a formidable level action and the number would be 15 and 22 would be exceptional(this means it looks really good and there may be a added benefit, GM’s call). You hunter has agility 6+ the skill athletics d6 and the specialty jumping d10. You would add agility and jumping together. That’s still pretty hard to do so you tell the GM that you get a running start. The GM decides that is a good idea and tells you to step it a die bump. Now your specialty jumping just became a d12 instead.

Now a word on my favorite part. Plot points. Every hunter starts off with six of these little gems. They can be used to add to you die rolls for those sticky situations. Each point buys you a d2 before you role or 1 point after the roll. You can also use them to reduce damage, alter the story in small ways( for a point can I have remembered to load silver bullets instead?), and other things with the GM’s approval. You can earn more doing the course of the game by having good ideas, accomplishing difficult goals, team work, beating a difficult oppenet, or just by amusing the GM. You can not however, have more than 12 plot points at one time.

Next we have assets and complications. Although they can be used to either make things easier or more complicated by adding or subtracting from the die role, they are mainly there to add flavor to the character. For instance, the asset good natured. People take to you because you are friendly and warm. This helps to enhance that influence/persusion roll by adding the die level to the roll. It also helps describe your character personality. The other side of the coin is complications. Lets say you choose crude. This means you don’t know how to behave in public. You make bad inappropriate jokes or you just have bad manners in general. It would subtract from any roll needed in a social situation.

Now I would like to get away from the rules. Is this a good book? Yes. You will find haunted sites, creatures, and tons of useful advice on not only how to run this setting but any RPG. If you are the GM Jamie provides you with a wealth of sites and story ideas to get you going.

Recently, I ran a game I wrote of Supernatural at Con on the Cob where Jamie Chambers was the guest of honor. Along with this article you find the seminar I attended with him answering all of my questions as he explains the Cortex system. You will also be able to listen to the game I ran at the show as well and towards the end hear Jamie himself stop by and ask how its going. It ran quite well, thank you. I would like again to express my personal thanks to the man himself, Jamie Chambers. One heck of a nice guy.

I will preface this with the fact that if it has anything at all to do with Warhammer 40,000 I will buy, play, or maybe kill a man to get it depending on how cool it is. So keep in mind that if something has Warhammer and/or 40,000 in its title I will do my best to enjoy it.

Word may or may have not reached your ears about the long awaited Warhammer 40,000 MMO. If it has, you’ll probably be waiting for it even longer than you have due to its slated release date (2011). If it hasn’t, then I’ll freshen up your memory.

First, I’ll start with its history, dating all the way back to 1994. Blizzard, the company I now call Faggard, wanted to make Warhammer Fantasy into a strategy game. Keep in mind this was back when Blizzard was in its golden age, bringing you such titles as Starcraft, Diablo, and Warcraft, not when it became the company that created World of Warcraft and labored to create Starcraft: Ghost or whatever the fuck it was called, thank god that failed. Now, Games Workshop, being the elitist Brits that they are, refused to allow an American company to get a hold of their rights to make a computer game out of their precious miniature war games. Blizzard had already made considerable progress on the game before showing it to execs at GW, so it was like when your High School teacher threw out your paper because it was too “offensive” (I speak from experience). So what Blizzard did was take their ball and go home with a sad face on, then it occurred to make WARcraft instead of WARhammer. And it never dawned on GW that their IP was getting raped? Nope. After making millions of dollars off of their Warcraft franchise, Blizzard turned towards GW once again and stole Warhammer 40,000, mutated it into Starcraft, and made even more cash. You can draw the lines for both games if you don’t believe me, 40k (Space Marines-Space Marines, Tyranids-Zerg, Old Ones-Xel’Naga), Fantasy (Orks-Orcs, Empire-Humans, Dark Elves-Undead, Elves-Night and High Elves, Chaos-Burning Legion). They even have the same fucking back-story! Horus (Arthas) betrays his King (Emperor) who is also his father, go figure, after listening to a demon-lich king-thing trapped inside a sword (Chaos Gods). I’m sure Diablo came from somewhere too, but I can’t put a name to it so I’ll give Blizzard credit for it at least. There you have it, so dark the con of Blizzard.

Alright, now that that is over with we can get on to the important stuff. GW waited a hefty 10 years or so to majorly break into the video game market with their release of Dawn of War. Yes, they had some titles here and there before that but none of them were all that great/important, one of them even had a Tau for the main character. Of course, Dawn of War became massively popular and was hailed as the dawn of a new age in RTS (real-time strategy) games.  This led to three expansion packs and a sequal for Dawn of War, a PSP game revolving around turn-based tactics, and a 3rd-person God of War-esque Action game called Space Marine with a TBA release date, but even more than that was that it also drew attention to everything with the word Warhammer in its title. Warhammer Fantasy got an MMO (Age of Reckoning) and a Total War-esque game (Mark of Chaos). If you have been keeping up with the news, EA bought Mythic (who makes Age of Reckoning) and Bioware (who is making the new Star Wars MMO) and I have no doubt in my mind they have their eyes fixed on THQ next (who publishes the 40k stuff). Blizzard and Activision merged to create Blactivision (haha right?) and they’re owned by Vivendi Universal (another monolithic company that owns a different side of the universe). So, in a sense, a line is being drawn in the sand in the game market between EA and Blactivision (who also makes the super-popular Call of Duty games, among others). Eventually they’re going to duke out in a Witch King-Gandalf fight but right now they’re just mustering forces.

Which is where the Warhammer 40,000 MMO comes into play and why it might piss me off. “It has been made clear that although the game will feature relatively in-depth fire-fights with player-formed squads as well as cover and flanking mechanics it is definitely a MMORPG as opposed to a MMOFPS.” That’s word and verse from some marketing exec or whatever when he was being interviewed about the game. I’m sorry, did you just say running around and shooting, which is an FPS,  will not be present in a game based around a setting/mini game in which running around and shooting is a core component? Well, shit, if that’s how we’re doing it nowadays… Yeah, they said flanking and cover and whatnot will be present but let’s be honest here, how many promises made in development are kept through to release? Everyone has a pretty bad track record for that. In addition to that it gets even worse, they’re not even sure they’re going to have vehicles in a game, now wrap your mind around this, based around fucking vehicles! Dreadnoughts, Predator tanks, fuckin’ Baneblades, Fire Prisms, I could go on for pages with vehicles that are used in the mini-game, and they have no idea which ones, if any, will be in it. Alright, I know by now you’re thinking, “This guy is either crazy or retarded, maybe both, I don’t know. It’s 40k! How can it be that bad?” They’re some small kernels of hope here, I will say that. You’re characters will be extremely customizeable (like in the Warhammer Fantasy MMO, which worked there very well) and they are “absolutely no non-combat classes, as that would not make sense with the setting”. Finally a company that cares about making sense. Why would you have a plain-old-healer in a game where even the healer (Apocethary) cuts people in half with a chainsaw-sword? You wouldn’t and that’s why there isn’t one. This is good stuff along with the proposed ability to visit a massive range of different areas, which include abandoned Space Hulks, chaos shrines, deserted battlefields, etc., more good stuff, eh?

I’ll say it myself, I could be totally wrong about this and the game might make you involuntarily ejaculate in your pants when you load it up for the first time. But if they wanted to make it awesome, they would take Planetside, strip away everything about the Planetside setting and apply the Warhammer 40,000 template to it.

For now though, since you have no 40k MMO to play, I will leave you with this:

I just bought this today, though I did not pay full price for it. God help me, I’m involved in another miniatures game. I shouldn’t be surprised with myself though. Once one starts down the dark path of buying small metal and/or plastic men and using said men to engage in fantasy battles with one’s friends, well, there’s just no coming back from that.

I should preface this by stating that I no longer play Warmachine or its companion game Hordes. Or at least I don’t play enough to be able to claim that I play. It’s not for lack of desire that I haven’t played in a while, but for lack of people to play with. I’ve lost touch with many of those I used to play Warmachine with and those I still keep in touch with either have no time to play or don’t particularly want to.

Furthermore, the economy, such as it is, isn’t very forgiving of those who blow their disposable income on small metallic men and monsters, and the various paint and supplies with which to assemble and beautify them. Hence, converting (read: enslaving) new players isn’t the possibility it once was. Then there’s the fact that miniature war games are arguably the least popular variety of tabletop game – with a high entry cost, and a steep learning curve.

Though I haven’t played the game regularly since soon after the miniatures and rulebooks hit stores, I’m going to bitch about it anyway. If I can’t hate something for real, I’ll just hate it in theory.

Word has reached my ears of elves invading Warmachine – in the form of a new army, The Retribution of Scyrah. I’m not too up on the fluff, so that name means fuck-all to me. Why do I care about this? I hate elves. I hate them in the way that I hate vampires. Not the rip-your-throat-out-and-eat-it vampires, the pithy romantisized vampires. Tell me, what’s the point of a race or faction that completely obsoletes another race or faction, in any fictional universe?

In any universe in which elves exist, they’re just like humans, but better. Sure, Dungeons and Dragons and other fantasy games give humans something like ‘humans perseverance’ or ‘human aptitude’ or some other shit trait or ability. In the fluff, or actual story, elves are almost always more logical, faster, smarter, better at magic, more vital, better looking, immortal or nearly so, and, if I remember Tolkien’s stuff well enough, stronger too. Sure, in some fictional universes elves aren’t all of these things but usually they’re of some combination.

Are the elves that make up this new Warmachine faction like this? Yep. They’re the most technologically advanced faction, naturally. They can use force shields, a kind of cloaking or bluring, and seem to be able to shoot lazer-like projectiles. Mind, you this is a steampunk-themed game; so this stuff is a little out of place. Seems to me like someone at Privateer Press has an elf fetish.

Typically, these days I can’t summon the nerd rage to get annoyed at this sort of stuff. However, though elves had been a part of the Warmachine universe prior to the appearance of this new faction, I had hoped they wouldn’t be a major player in the game. I generally hope elves don’t wander into my end of the fictional universe(s).